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We received so many gifts for our wedding. We felt honored that so many people thought of us, but on the other hand, there were so many thank you notes to write. Weeks after the wedding, I would run into people who had received a thank you note. They were so complimentary about how personal the note was and it seemed to really mean a lot to them. In a time when we are moving away from the habit of letter writing and moving towards email, I thought that I would give you a brief summary of what I think makes a memorable and personal thank you note.
The most important thing is to start with detailed records of all the gifts that you receive. A small journal or notebook can help you to keep track. I used a wedding journal that had a separate section for each shower or event. I was able to document information about the location, decorations and food served. This information was helpful especially when sending thank you notes to the hostesses. During the time leading up to your wedding, and especially at the showers, everything becomes a big blur. Depending on your personality, you might not be used to having a room full of people watching your reactions as you open countless gifts. It can become very draining, regardless of how excited you may be. It is especially important that you have someone sit with you to write down the names and a detailed description of each gift. Soon after the shower, take a few minutes to sit down to add in any details that might make writing your thank you notes easier in the future.
My wedding journal was small enough to fit inside of my pocketbook. I was able to keep a Ziploc bag of note cards, stamps and my journal with me at all times. During my lunch hour or waiting for the bus, I would take a few minutes to write a couple of notes every day or so and then drop them in the mailbox. By writing a single note when you have a minute, you are more likely to think of something personal and the notes do not become monotonous. You are also less likely to become exhausted by such a daunting task of sitting down to write them all at once
Start with a nice note card. By choosing a smaller size card, you limit the amount of text that you need to write. This is helpful if you have a large number of notes to write. I used a 4 Bar card with my name printed across the top. The script font matched the font I used for my invitations, program and signs at the reception. By choosing one or two fonts, you easily can set up a simple theme for your wedding that ties everything together. For thank you notes that I sent prior to the wedding, I used my full maiden name. After the wedding, I used my new last name and my maiden as my middle. Many brides are not changing their names, but if you plan to, etiquette says that you should not use your new name until after the wedding.
If you receive multiple gifts from one person at different events, I think that it is appropriate to send just one thank you. But be sure to remember all that they have done for you. Also, if several people went in on one gift, you do need to write a card to each person included on the list.
To begin, thank the person for the specific gift that they gave you. In your next statement, write a sentence about how you plan to or have used the gift or a reaction that you or your spouse had to the gift. In the second paragraph, write a brief message that you would like to share with the person unrelated to the gift, but in regards to your relationship to one another. Thank them for babysitting you when you were little, or for helping you plant some flowers in your garden a couple of falls ago. Include anything that is memorable and kind. If you do not know the person very well, think of something that you might share in the future. Finally end with a brief thanks again for the gift and that you look forward to seeing them in the future. The more personal the card, the better appreciated.
Your thank you note does not have to be lengthy. A few kind
words will show that you put some thought into your message.
more thoughts on favors and essentials for your special events
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